Wild at Heart

My weight.  I’m beginning to feel fucking defeated.  I’m wanting to lose weight.  It’s not coming off.  I’m not eating like shit.  I don’t have sweets, candy, or fastfood.  I’m eating enough, or at least I think so? And I’m not losing weight.  I know my friend Harold Wilson said it a while ago, you have to keep doing the work for a long enough time, then the body will catch up.  I keep thinking of this.  I want to get faster, I want to get stronger, but I’m not losing weight. I’m going to start going back to the gym. Getting my squat game and leg day game back on at least twice a week.  After my workouts.  I think this will make a significant difference in my ability to climb and speed on the track.


I named this entry wild at heart because I could have easily just said fuck it and turn around on my long run.  But I didn’t.  I wanted to be the one in control of my run, not some wild hog.  Side note:  That mother fucker was huge. 


Life stress at the current time is almost non-existent.  I’m enjoying what I’m doing, I have some episodes on the podcast I’m excited to get out, but my internet recently has been garbage.  It’s taken more than an hour to upload one episode and for this YouTube video more than two hours. 


Over the past few weeks I’ve been thinking of the paces I need to hit for my marathon in January for my corral placement at Comrades.  I’d say that St. Jude and the 50K right now are just training races where I plan to be in good form and tapered but expectations are lower.  My PR for the marathon is currently 4:17:00.  If I ran that time, I’d be in corral F.  For myself, I really want a sub 3:39:59 at Houston.  I’m going to really push for that.  It’s going to be a tough pace for me, but I know with the training, it’ll come.  I just have to lose some weight, do the training, and be consistent with it. 

Below is a spreadsheet of the hillwork and the times of the hills, and the paces before and after the hill work. 



Current weight: 207 or so. No change. 

Current MPW: 30.1

Total time Training: 8:25:00

Pace for mileage this week:  16:46/Mile Pace (includes the incline)

Week 2’s Average Pace for training: 11:51/mile (7:22/K)

Weeks 1’s Average Pace for training: 9:44/mile (6:03/K)

Confidence in completing Comrades:  Worse than last week to be honest.  My weight isn’t moving.  I need to lose close to 30-35lbs.  This is a crutch of mine.

June 16 Check in

I feel good about this weeks’ progress to be honest. More miles, but also more easy miles. Not looking for a lot of speed in the runs right now, but maintain consistency through everything. I’m a bit discouraged to be honest about the slower times in comparison. But it’s all easy stuff right now. No injuries to really speak of. I’m having fun with it, enjoying it, and motivated.

My friends are about to make some major life changes which may impact things or may not. We shall see.

AnnMarie, my wife, just took the last test for her CPA test. I’m so proud of her for putting herself out there and doing something hard! I mean she’s really putting herself out there and doing it. Also, we’re looking at new houses. I’m stoked about this one floor plan, but it may not work out, it may. I can only hope for the best right now.

I don’t know when the last time I hit more than 35 miles in a week was. Much less more than that. Let’s do it.

Current weight: 207ish?

Current MPW: 37.1

Total time Training: 7hrs 19min 25sec

Pace for mileage this week: 11:51/mile (7:22/K)

Weeks 1’s Average Pace for training: 9:44/mile (6:03/K)

Confidence in completing Comrades:  Nope. Not there. I feel like I could do a half marathon with ease right now. Much further, than that is nothing. So, 22K/90K or 11/45’s confidence??

Self Doubt – July 8, 2019


I haven’t been that vocal recently but I’m going to start sharing more of my story.


Today I’m struggling for a few different reasons.  I’m doing the work, but I have this overwhelming feeling that what I’m doing isn’t enough. Recently someone posted on one of the groups I’m a part of on Facebook saying she did a 16 mile long run.  At this point, I was like shit, am I doing enough? I have a 50K coming up, I need to do more mileage, do more.  But then the inner voice of mine said shit, we’re really far out still, we have 16 weeks as of today.  No need in doing that far at this point.  Trust the process. 


My motivation is currently high but I’m still worried about maybe I’m really not doing enough.  I think of Comrades often, but I also know to focus on the task at hand.  My goal right now is the 3:30-3:40 marathon.  This is the goal.  I need this before Comrades to get a seat in corral C.

Yes, having a coach can take that off the plate.  But I don’t think I’m going to be using one moving forward.  I have high expectations for a coach and I’m not willing to waiver in what I expect.  The plan I’m using is a hybrid of many things I’ve learned over the years of triathlon and running plus coaching others.


I cooked some fish for the first time ever.  Danielle showed me how easy this was when we were in Canada so I made this happen. It was amazing.  The picture below of me running on a trail is in Canada.  That trail is my favorite place in the world to run only second to a specific 2.7 mile loop I fell in love with many years ago.


Some of my friends have been going through some shit. I’m feeling their energy and wanting to help them more, but can’t make choices for them or even take the weight of their struggle off of them.  It’s hard to see what they’re going through as an outsider because I care about them.  I bring this energy into my workouts and I’m positive that then end looks better for them than their current situations. At this point, this is about all I can say about them.  Just know that I’m carrying some of their energy through my workouts.

Overall, I’m excited but nervous.  I’m about to do somethings in training, I’ve never done. If you follow along and read, I’m grateful for your attention.  If you’d like to ask some questions feel free to comment below.


Current weight: 209.6

Current MPW: 32

Total time Training: 5hrs 11min 44sec

Pace for mileage this week: 9:44/mile (6:03/K)

Confidence in completing Comrades:  Non-existent.